our journey to Mary Katherine {hidden providence in opposition}

On Tuesday we went back to the registration office to receive our adoption certificate. Our travel group gathered together and the officials spoke briefly before giving us our adoption certificate, which marks the day our adoption is finalized in China. Of course, in our eyes, the first moment we held Mary Katherine will always be our forever family day.

We returned to the hotel briefly for a quick lunch and then prepared for our travel day to Luoyang with another family. In Henan, they now require that each family travel to their child’s provincial city to apply for their passport. Fortunately we did not have to make this trip when we adopted Lily. Her city, Nanyang, is a 4 hour one way trip which would have been extremely difficult considering how much she was grieving.

Our trip to Luoyang would be 2.5-3 hours each way. As we were about to get off the Luoyang city exit, our guide told us that the passport office called to say they were closing for the day due to no power. We debated staying in a hotel for the night but we were not prepared with extra clothes, diapers, formula, etc. so we turned around and headed back to Guangzhou. A long day for everyone to say the least.

We would soon be reminded of God’s hidden providence in our opposition and set backs.

We woke up early the next morning ready for round two. We prayed over our trip and enjoyed a nice time of fellowship in the van with the other family we have enjoyed getting to know.

As God’s timing would have it, we arrived just as the office was preparing to close and quickly ran in for the passport picture….mission accomplished.

We had requested if there was time to be able to visit the Luoyang orphanage, Maria’s Big House of Hope and see Mary Katherine’s finding place.

Clearly God knew our trip needed to be delayed so that we would have the gift of time to make these visits.

After lunch we made a brief stop to see Mary Katherine’s finding place. I may share more another time, but for now I am very grateful to have a few photos that mark this part of her adoption story.

We traveled from there to the Luoyang city orphanage, which is located across from Mariah’s Big House of Hope.

We were not allowed to take any pictures in the orphanage, which houses over 600 children. It is a new building and much nicer than most; however, there is still a cold, institutional feel as you walk down the halls. The nannies are doing the best they can given their circumstances but the reality is that every face we saw is the face of a child without a forever family. A child in need of hope and love. As we were leaving I looked over at Michael and saw him welling up with tears overwhelmed by the reality of what we saw. This would have been the home for Mary Katherine and given her medical condition she may not have survived. By God's grace He allowed her to be the recipient of such excellent love and care from New Hope and Maria's Big House of Hope. There are no words to express our gratitude for this life giving gift.

The other family traveling with us was able to meet their son's caregivers and see the room where he played during his time there. And as God would have it, with over 600 babies, their other son they will be bringing home in the spring shared the playroom next to his and they were able to see him briefly before we left. Such a gift from the Lord.

We walked across the yard to Maria's Big House of Hope where joy and love abound.

Every person we met shines a bright light of hope and it is evident how much they adore the children in their care. We were able to take a tour and see the rooms where Mary Katherine stayed. She went right to one of the nannies who cared for her most recently but was hesitant and a bit reserved during the remaining part our visit snuggling up close to Michael for security.

To Lily's dismay we did not have time to play with the babies like we did at New Hope. When the girls are older my desire is to return for a trip to serve and give back. New Hope and Maria's exceeded my expectations. They are a beacon of light for children in need of hope. A glimpse of the great love God has for the fatherless. The more we learn about the ministry of Show Hope the more we stand in awe of how God continues to do the impossible and open doors of opportunity for them to care for the orphans of this world.

On our way home we also experienced another unexpected gift as our guide prayed to receive Christ. What a gift to witness God's great love story as another one of His children was adopted into His kingdom.  

Looking back we are grateful for our day of opposition that revealed God's hidden providence. 

To God be the glory.

our journey to Mary Katherine {forever family day}

I woke up at 4 am and couldn’t go back to sleep so I went out in the hallway to write in Mary Katherine’s journal, pray and reflect on all God has done to bring us to this day. Michael joined me in the hall a few hours later and we had a sweet time of prayer before getting ready for our day.

As we were waiting for the bus to take us to the registration office we took one last “waiting for you” picture of our family of four.   

In just a few hours there would be no more waiting… just a lifetime of forever with our sweet girl.

We have a large travel group with 8 families (compared to only 4 when we adopted Lily). Three of the families are returning to adopt again from Henan. We have enjoyed getting to know the other families and love hearing their stories. I never cease to be amazed at how God perfectly sets the lonely in families.

The waiting began and we eagerly watched each van drive up wondering if it would be the one holding our daughter.

Lily could barely contain her excitement. She kept standing at the door watching and asking when her baby sister would be coming. She prepared the dolls in their blankets and all the toys she wanted to give Mary Katherine when she arrived.

As God’s timing would have it, just as with Lily, we were last family to receive our daughter. We saw the van pull in and watched from inside. I could see that she had fallen asleep and they were waking her up to bring her to us.

Her big brown eyes took my breath away. I waited to hold her as they began telling us about her medication. We also wanted to give her some time to warm up to us. The weight of her in my arms is a feeling I will always remember. I love the last picture in this series with Lily’s little hand popping into the frame holding the rattle she wanted to give her baby sister. Her first of many acts of love.

We took our adoption certificate photo and met nurse Jonah from Maria’s Big House of Hope who was so very kind. It is evident that she loves the children in her care.  

We are so grateful for the level of love and care she has received from both Maria's and New Hope.  There are no words that can express our gratitude for this amazing gift.  

The emotions in the room are full. Some babies still screaming they say goodbye to their nannies, others with blank faces withdrawn and grieving silently, and a few with smiles on their faces adjusting well to their new family.

My heart breaks yet is full knowing every child in this room will know the gift of a forever family.

Adoption… so beautiful yet marked with such brokenness….a reflection of our adoption as sons and daughters of the King.

My prayer is that Mary Katherine will feel the depth of our love for her soon and trust us as we do our best to meet her every need.

We arrived back to the hotel and went back to our room taking is slow and letting her lead the way.

Michael left to complete some paperwork and we sat on the floor to play.

Slowly some smiles came our way as she began to giggle each time Spencer knocked down the tower of blocks.

She is curious and full of expression. She is quick to learn and likes to imitate what we do. At times she looks at us with a little furrowed brow and will pucker her little lips together in the sweetest way.

She is pure delight and already has captured our hearts.
 Lily said “she is the sweetest baby I have ever seen”.

After playing a bit she popped up out of nowhere and stared walking around the room .
She is a girl on the go eager to explore. We took a few laps up and down the hall which she loved.

Michael returned after a couple of hours and I went back with him to sign some papers and put her handprint on our official documents. On the way back to the hotel she fell fast asleep on his shoulder.

At dinner she discovered the steps and loves to go up and down them holding our hands.

We ended the night with a bath which she loved.

We tucked the girls in bed, read some books and prayed together thanking God for this beautiful miracle of one.

Mary Katherine, forever and always we will be your family.

Forever and always you will be our child.

our journey to Mary Katherine {the great wall}

On Saturday we climbed the great wall. We have a great book at home that we read to Lily called Isabella Girl on the Go and in it she visits different places around the world, one of which is the great wall of China. Lily was very excited about seeing and experiencing in person what we have read and talked about at home. This is the beginning our our trek up the wall. It was a cold day and my toes were numb by the top but at least the sun helped keep us warm.

As you begin the journey up the wall the stairs are lined with locks of love.

Spencer was determined to surpass the highest point Michael and I climbed when we visited 3 years ago so he asked if he could venture on solo since our little one was holding him back :)

As soon as he had the go-ahead from Michael he was off to complete his mission.

Lily completely surprised us. We thought she would be up for a few steps and maybe make it to the first tower but she proved us wrong. She conquered all the uneven steps like a pro and with a great attitude of excitement and joy. She kept saying “this is a lot of hard work”. We made it to the first tower and looked back at where we started.

After taking a short water break to catch our breath we walked up to the second tower. Lily loved the little stone tunnels inside. We decided not to press our luck going any further and started the decent back down the wall. Climbing up the wall definitely gets your heart rate up but claiming down is equally as hard on your legs…mine are still feeling it two days later :))

As we reached the bottom of the wall Spencer came running up behind us quite proud that he surpassed our goal 3 years ago!

It was a perfect day and a wonderful experience to have together as a family.

We warmed up with some hot chocolate and coffee before heading out to the jade factory. Michael bought me a jade bracelet when we were here to adopt Lily and I was happy to learn that it has almost doubled in value :))

We ended the day with an amazing acrobatic show that the kids loved complete with popcorn and some coke.

Unfortunately no pictures were allowed so just imagine people contorting their bodies in ways you never imagined possible, eight motorcycles in a large round metal cage doing tricks at the same time, and people balancing layers of cups on their head, feet and hands while doing the former rubber band like movements and you will have a good mental picture of what we saw.

Lily was wiped out by the end of the day. Michael brought us some take out pizza for diner and Spencer tried to get me hooked up with a VPN so I could blog. I’m still having spotty service which is why I am late in posting these pictures. Thankfully I have a sweet friend who is helping me post this so you can follow our journey.

Today is Mary Katherine day and I cannot wait to have our sweet girl in our arms and become a family of five.

The real adventure is about to begin.

our journey to Mary Katherine {House of Hope}

We arrived in Beijing late Thursday night after a long but uneventful flight. The kids did great sleeping much of the plane ride over but we were all ready to call it a night after getting settled into our hotel room.

The next morning we opted out of our group tour so that we could visit New Hope where Mary Katherine has been living until earlier this week when she was transferred to Maria's Big House of Hope.

We met the director at the airport and drove to a small rural area outside Beijing down a road lined with trees that led to the gates of New Hope.

A house of hope.

A place of love that builds a sense of family.

The children are grouped into families of 12 and each nanny has 2 children in their care for 8 hour shifts.

We had the privilege of meeting one of the 3 nannies that cared for Mary Katherine.
 We are so very grateful for this unexpected treasure.
  

We were also able to see Mary Katherine's room and her crib...although we learned that she preferred to sleep on the mats in the playroom at night instead of her crib. Sounds like she is already a little bit like her big sister who didn't like to sleep in the crib while we were in China :))

As we were touring the facility, Lily kept looking into the windows asking "when are we going to get to play with the babies?"

The director heard her request and let us spend some time playing with the children that were part of Mary Katherine's "family" of twelve.

The children are happy and loved. Some eager to come sit in our laps and play...others taking it all in and staying at a distance.

This little one melted my heart. She had "no-no's" on her arms and was drooling a lot...clearly post palate or lip surgery. It took me back to those days with Lily when we would go through 9-10 different bibs a day because of so much drool and the way she would still figure out how to play with toys even though she couldn't bend her arms due to the "no-no's".
 She gave me a big wet hug and her smile will be forever etched in my mind. 

We were playing with some of the children when Michael noticed that Lily was off to the side with this little angel trying to help her with her bottle. Lily was in her element going from each child trying to take them toys or help find a way to make them happy. The little boys were especially enamored with Spencer and his natural way of making children laugh.

We continue to see God's hand woven throughout all of the details. We are humbled by His perfect timing allowing us to experience this part of her story and for the blessing of her continuing to receive the same level of love and care at Maria's Big House of Hope until we meet her on Monday.

We are prepared for a possible hard transition as her paperwork says that she has stranger anxiety and the nurse and preschool teacher both alluded to the fact that it takes her awhile to warm up to people she doesn't know.
We will meet her were she is and pray that in time she will know and trust our love.  

God's unfolding story {the heart and plan of God}

God is always writing a story in our lives.
Some pages and chapters easier to turn than others, yet every detail is
woven together to draw us closer to Him.

This is a glimpse of the story God is unfolding in our lives.  

A year ago today, November 4, 2013 I received this picture in my inbox from my husband.

He found it through Show Hope's November prayer focus .
 I printed out the prayer focus page and put it on our refrigerator so we could pray for this little angel.  My niece's name is also Marlee and she was going to China to study abroad the following semester.  

I was drawn to her from the moment I saw her and could not get her off my mind.

I reached out to inquire more about Marleigh.
Our names were added to the list of those who had already asked about this little angel.  

 If and when our agency received her file they would assess the severity of her needs and then
match her according to the medical checklists on file beginning with date of submission.

This was the beginning of God's plan to teach me more about trust and surrender.

November 29, 2013

Our dossier was logged into China which officially began our wait to be matched with our daughter.

December 16, 2013 

(excerpts from my prayer journal)

"I lift up to you our daughter....you know her needs and you have already given her a name and set her apart for our family. Prepare us Lord for what lies ahead whatever that may be. In my heart I feel we may have a daughter with a heart condition but your plan is sovereign and if that is not your will give us clarity in knowing what child you have for us."

I shared Marleigh's picture with our family and a few close friends so they could be praying for her.
Lily's consistent prayer was "I pray for our baby sister and for baby Marleigh.
 Even if you don't put Marleigh in our family you still have another one for us."

I admit, whenever Lily prayed this, my heart would sink a little at the thought of not being matched with Marleigh but I also knew it would be a miracle for that to happen and I must trust in God's sovereign plan knowing He would put the perfect angel in our family just as he did with Lily.

March 21, 2014 

"If in your power and divine intervention you would have little Marleigh be our daughter we ask that you expedite her file and that the timing of when it comes through our agency would be the right match with our file. You are sovereign and you know what is best for her and our family. Refine me Lord in the waiting to be ready for what lies ahead. Fill my heart with trust and surrender to your perfect will."

April 4, 2014

"My heart yearns to know more about the little one you have chosen for us. My prayer is that she is loved and held and her emotional and physical needs are met. May she enjoy the gifts of playing outside and feeling sun other face. Give us a glimpse into what her special need may be and prepare us and the doctors we will need to support her. If Marleigh is to be our daughter- only you can make that possible. You have the power to do exceeding behind all we ask or think and we rest in your timing and mighty power. Prepare us for that day we receive the call...pour out wisdom and discernment that we may know without a doubt the child you have chosen for us."

April 8, 2014 (my birthday)

We received an update from our agency that Marleigh's paperwork was underway for adoption. The same night as I was driving home from our last adoption parenting class my friend Lisa texted me this picture asking...is the little one you were interested in? My heart skipped a beat and I pulled over to relish a moment in her sweet face.  Such sweet unexpected gifts to receive on my birthday.  

June 13, 2014

We received these pictures from my dear friend who was in China and had the opportunity to meet Marleigh.

June 14, 2014
"You are faithful...oh so faithful in all you do. I can look at so many areas of my life and see your faithful hand weaved throughout. Thank you for the gift of seeing the picture and video of sweet Marleigh. It makes my heart full to see in action the little one we have been advocating for and praying for since November. You know my heart and desire to bring her home to be part of our family and I will continue to pray for a miracle...that in your sovereign plan you might orchestrate the details of her file with the timing of our medical checklist to be one. And yet I know my hopes should not be set on this but on you and your perfect plan for her and our family. Thank you for the care she is receiving...may you expedite her file at your timing and place her in the forever family you have designed for her from the beginning. Protect my heart from disappointment or sadness if she is not our daughter...I rest in your divine plan."

July 2014

We made the decision to put our file on "hold" and wait for Marleigh's file to come through our agency. We knew this was in no way a guarantee we would be matched with her and we were taking the risk of possibly extending the wait for our daughter should our medical checklist not be the one in line when her file was released.

In late July we learned that our agency would most likely not receive her file until December of this year. We continued to pray and ask for clarity to know if our decision to put our file on hold was a prompting that was part of God's plan or a step of disobedience in which we needed to surrender complete control.

The end of September marked 16 months of waiting since the submission of our medical checklist, and we decided to set up a conference call with our agency to ask some difficult questions that could impact our decisions in the days ahead.  

September 29, 2014 

"I lift up to you our conversation with our agency next week. Be present during that time...speak to us and give us clarity on how to respond to the wait, to Marleigh, to the special needs we have marked. Let us live with open hands and surrender to your will. Protect our daughter from loneliness and fear. Surround her with caregivers who love her and embrace her as their own. Thank you that Marleigh is in a place of love and care. Give her laughter and hope. I pray that you may expedite her file so that she may know the gift of having a family. Let us see your providence and sovereign plan through the waiting, which at times feels like opposition. You work all things together for your good and your glory."

October 3, 2014

"Thank you Jesus that you are sovereign. That in our times of weakness you give us strength to move forward. Give me an attitude of thanksgiving and gratitude for my hard days...not complaining but looking to you and trying to see how you are using the valleys to help me grow. Thank you for today and for what lies ahead. ."

I remember this day well.  It was a Friday morning and I was working in my art studio...struggling with my art and working on a painting with the scripture Psalm 30:5
"Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes with the morning."

Michael called me that afternoon at 12:43 pm and asked, "are you sitting down?"

The next words he spoke I will never forget.

Marleigh's file has been released but it was given to another family who was ahead of our medical checklist.  We should know something definite about their decision in a couple of weeks.

My heart sank.

I was thrilled that our prayers for her file to be expedited had been answered and that she would soon know the love of a forever family. I was broken with the reality that this little one who God placed on our hearts, who had captivated us from the moment we saw her, may not be the one chosen for us.

I sent out a group text to our closest family and friends asking them to pray.

Lily and I sat on the floor of our kitchen floor and prayed and cried and gave thanks.

Eucharisteo
{thanksgiving}

Thanksgiving precedes the miracle.

October 4, 2014

"Let me trust in your unfailing perfect love and plan for our family.... Not my will but yours be done...I have been asking for clarity knowing what direction to take and your answer to this will be the billboard I was hoping for but wasn't sure I would receive. Prepare my heart for what lies ahead and give me your peace that passes all understanding."

October 7, 2014

"My prayer this morning is that you place Marleigh in the family that you have chosen from the beginning...the one that can provide for her medical needs and be the best match for her. Give the family that is reviewing her file peace in their decision. Intercede in such a way that they know without a doubt the direction they are to go.  If it is your sovereign will for Marleigh to be in our family, orchestrate all of the details and timing...open my eyes and heart to see your hands at work and trust you more. Sweet Marleigh will always be part of our adoption story...now we just wait to see if she is the story or the little one leading us to a different chapter. Thank you for all the ways you are revealing yourself and reminding me that you love me with an everlasting love, you lead me with cords of human kindness, you tie me with knots of love. Be in the midst of our conference call today and if it is your timing and will perhaps she may have some news to share about Marleigh. Shine your light into the darkness today and let me rejoice in all that this day brings."

This was my prayer the morning of our conference call with our agency.  At 12:30pm we were talking with our agency and they told us that the family called that morning and decided not to move forward with Marleigh's adoption based on the severity of her medical needs.
We were the next family to see her file if we were interested in reviewing it.

My heart skipped a beat.

Interested?  Without a shadow of a doubt.

We knew even before reading her file and knowing the extent of her heart condition that she was our daughter...the beautiful miracle God had been preparing for us.

As we spoke, I got in my car to drive to Michael's office so that we could view her file together.

We sat in awe, truly humbled by the way God had woven all the details of her story to bring her to our family.

Even in the face of unknowns, we rest in promise that God will see us through every step that lies ahead in our journey of faith...trust...and surrender.

We cannot wait to welcome Mary Katherine YiMan into our family.
 She is 18 months old, has big expressive eyes, likes music and going on walks outside, she is curious and is a "little girl who is loved by all".

We are in the process of trying to expedite our travel and hope to be there sometime before Christmas!

Praising God for the miracle of one
and for the pages yet to be written as the story continues to unfold.  

"Hope deferred makes a heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."
 Proverbs 13:12

If I had listened to my fear...

Four years ago today, we received a call that broke through a season of silence.

A call that was an answer to our prayer for a little girl.

I remember the excitement and pure joy of that day.

I also remember the fear that started rising in my mother's heart about all of the unknowns we would face in the journey ahead...surgeries, speech therapy, orthodontics, more surgeries, possible teasing from her peers, her physical scars and the emotional impact it may have over time. 

 The list in my mind went on and yet there was peace in my soul knowing this was the daughter
God had perfectly chosen for our family.

If I had listened to my fear, I would have missed the blessing.
I would have missed...

Little fingers taking hold of mine as we walk hand in hand.

Giggles and laughter that fill our home with joy.

A smile that lights up any room and a constant range of expressive emotions that keep us on our toes.

The gift of time together learning more about how to capture the music in our hearts.

Experiencing first hand God uses His children to point us closer to Him.

Looking into these dark brown eyes filled with love.  

Believing in the hope and promise of the future God has planned for her.    

Once I released my fear, I never looked back. 

Fear led me to trust.  

And in trusting I have been given an unspeakable gift.

I would say "yes" a million times over.  

"There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear."  

1 John 4:18

The gift of interrupted plans

I am not always grateful when "my plans" are interrupted, but this moment in time is a gift for which I am thankful.  

My plan to take pictures of Lily on the beach at sunset were diverted by strong winds and a little girl who needed to find a bathroom. :))

The closest stop was my parent's church.  After we took care of business, I decided to swing around back to show Lily the flowers on my grandmother's grave.    

I have shared many stories about my Mimi with Lily and she knows how special she was to me growing up.  

What I thought was an inconvenience turned out to be a magical moment in time.  

The light was beaming down and my Mom was able to tell her about my sweet Mimi and the legacy she left our family.    

Today is my Mimi's birthday. 

I am reminded of her quiet gentle spirit...her creative talents...her humility...the times I would walk down to tell her goodnight and hear her praying for us by name...her love for the Lord...her servant heart...her gratitude to others.  

I wish she could have known Lily.  She would have loved Lily's laugh, her funny sense of humor, her smile and the songs she loves to sing.  

So grateful for diverted plans that remind me of God's desire to orchestrate even the smallest details to show me more about His unfailing love.  

    

"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."  

Proverbs 16:9